Showing posts with label Planters Salted Peanuts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Planters Salted Peanuts. Show all posts

Monday, May 3, 2010

Planter's Trail Mix Can Save Your Life


How many times have you been walking through the woods picking up little rocks and pieces of tree bark and bugs and eating them by the handful thinking to yourself 'my, this is all so delicious but I wish there was some way I could find my way back to the camper where my step-parents are making me a baby brother!'????

Now, thanks to Planter's Trail Mix, there is an easier way than patiently following the moans in the distance!

Simply buy a bag, open the bag, and pour it all over the forest!

In addition to helping you find your way back home, you can also use it as a pillow for those long overnight expeditions where your parents tell you not to come back until you have a real job and aren't sitting int heir basement writing about nothing on some stupid blog about candy all day I hate you dad....

Friday, April 10, 2009

Planters Salted Peanuts

How many times have you been in front of the vending machine, looked over your options and been unable to choose anything? Many. Planters Salted Peanuts were made for just such an occasion. Invented in 1734 in Oslo, Norway, the peanut was frequently used as fertilizer for cabbage and heirloom tomato growth.

Since '34, the peanut has come in all sorts of different shapes and sizes. Saxophone, tire iron, wristwatch. Tabasco sauce used to be made from peanuts and elephant's blood but ASCAP and BMI ruined it for everyone.

If you can't make a decision, Peanuts are there for you. Full of iron and protein and enough salt to kill flesh eating bacteria. In the American Civil War, the South often used Planter's salted peanuts to suture bullet wounds.

Thankfully the fine folks at Planters are still keeping us supplied with peanuts today. And why not? Everyone loves salt flavored drugs.