Stacy's Parmesan Garlic & Herb Pita Chips

Sick sick Friday.

I broke code today and dialed the vending company to request Payday.

Additionally, O'Brien's Beef Sticks have taken over my floor. They are now in the second row. scary.

Pita Chips. Back again. I love them, even though the bag is 74% air. I call that the B/A.P. (Bag/Air Percentage). In a normal snack chip the bag is only around 57% air. Which means these pita chips have a substantially higher B/A.P. Are they worth it? Is this a vending machine blog?

They go great with Diet Coke. Its like they were meant to be together. True love. When eating them together I refer to the Pita Chips as Romeo and the Diet Coke as Juliet. Unfortunately, lately the vending machine has gotten all Capulet on my steez and made it nearly impossible to unite these young lovers. They are together now, in harmony, in a futile tastebud party. They are not meant to be together permanantly, as one comes in an air tight bag and the other in an aluminum can.

And Trans Fat Free!!

York Peppermint Pattie

Wednesday morning. 10:45 a.m. Went for the York Peppermint Pattie, which is low in fat (70% lower!....lower than what, I couldn't tell you). Its been too long.

The silver packaging makes it look special. I sincerely believe that. Its not just any candy, no no. Its a York. Damn straight! I got the sensation!

I think almost anything looks good in silver packaging. Look at the Oakland Raiders for example. horrible team, stupid organization, but they always look good. Its the silver. I know my critics will argue if this whole silver packaging thing is truethen why didn't anyone go see "Fantastic Four Rise of the Silver Surfer", I'll tell you why, because it looked horrible. And they didn't have a cross promotion with York Peppermint Pattie.

Today was vending machine maintenance day and it looks like in addition to adding York Peppermint Pattie back into my life, they have also added Snackwells cookie sandwich and Oreo six packs. I applaud the vending machine workers for adding conflict to my daily life. The Snackwells is low fat, the Oreo is...an Oreo...One is light, one is dark...the drama is astounding!

The York Peppermint Pattie is sweet and exciting. Its chewy and satisfying. It's sort of like a low fat minty Reese's cup. But even more chewy. However, it does not go well with Diet Coke, and that is a near fatal flaw in my eyes.

You know what does go well with Diet Coke? Stacy's Pita Chips. The machine is fixed. People all over the office are rejoicing.

York was a pleasant surprise. I'm sure we'll meet again.

Kit Kat Extra

Tuesday. Nearly noontime. Pita Chips still not functioning. Why is that?

Days like today i wish our vending machines had Payday. I enjoy a Payday. Its salty and has no chocolate and everytime I eat one I think of Bukowski.

But today I purchased what is now called "Kit Kat Extra". it is a large Kit Kat. Essentially it is four of the standard sized bars in one.

A couple of weeks ago, a discussion arose on the 6th floor in regards to the chocolate to crunch ratio of the larger Kit Kat. I can't say I didn't enjoy the Kit Kat Extra, but I will say that the larger than normal amount of chocolate you get per bite is slighlty disconcerting. I refer to this statistic as the C.P.B.O.K.K. (Chocolate Per Bite Of Kit Kat). If the C.P.B.O.K.K. is slightly off, it just doesn't seem like a Kit Kat to me.

Also, the name change. When this Kit Kat was originally introduced it was called "The Big Kat", which at the time was Colorado Rockies Slugger Andrés Galaragga's nickname. Always confusing to me. Did I want to eat Andrés Galaragga? Did he have a delicious chocolate to crunch ratio? I doubt it. So maybe the name was fitting.

Tomorrow is vending machine maintenance day and so, I will leave notes requesting the Pita Chips and Cheetos slots are fixed and also making a special request for Paydays in the future.

T.G.I. Friday's Potato Skins

Monday. 12:15 p.m.

You get through the morning with only one Diet Coke and you need a pick me up...bad.

You look to the vending machine for grace in the form of Pita Chips. Last week that slot stopped working. Somehow you hoped Friday was a fluke and the pita chips would be restored by Monday. You were wrong.

You scramble for something salty. Something crunchy. Not some subpar potato chip crunch. That might be fine for a Thursday afternoon. But midway through a Monday?!?! "I'd rather eat a bag of cinderblock shavings!!" you think to yourself.

You settle on the T.G.I. Friday's Cheddar Bacon Potato Skins. They taste like bacon bites and have a satisfying crunch. You could have done worse.

Only the bag looks different now. T.G.I. Friday's is no longer a good place to go with friends (due to gangfights and hurricanes) and all you really wanted were some Pita Chips.

You crawl back to your desk in shame.