Three Musketeers Truffle Crisp

Some Outbreakers recently tried the Three Musketeer's Truffle Crisp bar. They have noted the following things:

1) It has air in it so that rich people eat it.
2) Everyone is on fire.
3) The Marketing is fire-based and devastatingly poisonous.
4) Crispy(?) BUT NOT ENOUGH FOR SOME.
5) Jaundice.

Also, WHY ARE THERE FOUR OF THEM? And what the hell is wrong with Keifer Sutherland's hair?

The true origins of Three Musketeers Truffle Crisp will never be explained. Some say social scientist Arlo Guthrie stumbled upon a recipe in a boxcar in Detroit while searching for a fish bone for dinner. Damn if he didn't have cookie, nougat, chocolate and plastic packaging in his back pocket that he had used previously as kindling for the boxcar fires he warmed his hands upon.

A legend(?) was(?) born(declarative).

Whenever you eat a Three Musketeers Truffle Crisp bar, you appreciate Twix for what it is, sharp, pointy, jagged, sticky, like Alanis Morissette in 1995. Then you remember that Truffle Crisp is none of those things. It's airy, soft and lacking creativity, like Alanis Morissette in 2005 when she re-recorded Jagged Little Pill acoustically exclusively for Starbucks.

In short, no one cares.