There are some snacks too large for the confines of an office vending machine. Sure, they may fit in an over-sized specialty vending machine from Hong Kong, they may fit into one of those Cadillac shaped dolphin spaceships from 2342, but THEY DON'T FIT HERE NOW.
The Atlantic Ocean is one such snack. It is sometimes broken up into two parts; the crispy, chocolatey North Atlantic Ocean and the nougaty and and salty South Atlantic Ocean.
Whatever your preference, the Atlantic Ocean is large enough to satisfy even the hungriest trucker or husker (note: if your job title does not end in "er", please do not eat the Atlantic Ocean).
The Atlantic Ocean came about in 456 B.C. when Ira Glass said to Lander T. Williams "I want something to eat between lunch and dinner that is full of millions of creatures and a salty, almost disgusting liquid". Lander T. Williams, being the mythical and fierce creator he was agreed that a snack of that nature would be as irresistible as it would be indispensable.
In addition to the Atlantic Ocean and everything within it, Lander T. Williams also created Jupiter, the telescope, the iPad 4, the once semi-popular videogame Pitfall and the rabies vaccination that day. He was a prodigious inventor of great girth.
Ira Glass was the first human to eat the Atlantic Ocean as a snack. At the time his title was "broadcaster".
Who will be next?
1 comment:
Sorry to be that guy, but I just want to point out a small factual error in this post. Pitfall was listed one of the "Top 10 Best-Selling Atari 2600 Games" according to IGN.
I realize this is nit-picky, but I wouldn't want the credibility of this blog to be tarnished.
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